What Really Defines You?
"How Would I Be Without My Plait?"
There's a moment in Little Women that has always stayed with me.
Jo sells her hair. And her sisters, aghast, cry out — "Oh, Jo, how could you? Your one beauty."
Her one beauty. As if without it, she is somehow less.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. About the things we hold onto — not just the physical ones, but the invisible ones too. The labels, the roles, the achievements, the looks. The things we quietly believe make us us.
My quirky little character has a plait. It swings behind her, full of personality. And she got me wondering — how would she be without it? Would she still be her? Would she still matter?
And then I turned that question on myself. On all of us.
What do you think defines you right now?
What would you lose yourself without?
We live in a world that is very good at telling us what makes us valuable. And we're surprisingly quick to believe it.
So let's try some on for size:
How would you be if you lost your... influencer status? The followers, the likes, the algorithm — gone overnight. Who are you when no one is watching?
How would you be if you lost your job? The title on the business card, the desk, the role. The thing you say first when someone asks "so, what do you do?"
How would you be if you lost your marriage? The partnership, the identity of we. The person who knew your coffee order and your worst moods.
How would you be if you lost your hair? Oh, this one runs deep. Ask anyone who has.
How would you be if you lost your youth? The smooth skin, the energy, the sense that everything is still ahead of you.
How would you be if you lost your fitness? The marathon times, the gym routine, the body that does what you tell it.
How would you be if you lost your reputation? The goodwill, the respect, the way people speak about you in rooms you're not in.
The thing is — most of us won't get to choose when or how we lose these things.
But we might get to choose what happens after.
Jo, of course, was never just her hair. She was fire and words and fierce, stubborn love.
Maybe that's the invitation in all of this. Not to let go of the things we love — but to hold them a little more lightly. To know, somewhere underneath it all, that the plait is just a plait.
You are so much more than your one beauty.